Ramblings of Boredom
by NinjaPower
Summary: Haitus We all know a bored Yuffie is a bad Yuffie, but sometimes there's nothing to stop her. Watch as our favorite characters suffer the wrath of a bored and censorless Yuffie. RxR
1. Tifa

Final Fantasy VII 

Ramblings of Boredom

We all know a bored Yuffie is a bad Yuffie, but sometimes there's nothing to stop her. Watch as our favorite characters suffer the wrath of a bored Yuffie. 

Chapter 1- 

It was another day at the Seventh Heaven and Yuffie was just plain bored. There was absolutely nothing to do. No one to intimidate or play pranks on. Even those little terrors were gone. 

"Ughh!" Yuffie randomly burst out.

Tifa looked up from her glass cleaning, concerned, "Are you alright Yuffie?"

Yuffie wailed in desperation, "I'm bored!"

Tifa was less than condescending, "Well, why don't you help me clean these glasses?"

Yuffie peered at Tifa, "I said I was bored not desperate."

Tifa shrugged, "Suit yourself then," and resumed to ignore Yuffie.

Yuffie started tapping her finger against the table.

tap

tap

Yuffie looked at her fingers tapping in amazement. Then had a wide grin on.

taptaptaptap

taptaptappitytaptap

Yuffie was getting into it, and started drumming the table and dancing to her beat. 

"YUFFIE!" Tifa yelled, "I know your bored, but find something other than that to do!"

She stared at her blankly, "Like what?"

Tifa sighed, "Why don't you..." she thought for a moment looking around, "Why don't we just talk?"

"Talking is boring," Yuffie complained.

Silence hung over the bar besides the occasional squeaks from the glasses.

"Why are you boobs so big?"

Tifa almost dropped her glass in surprise. She stared at Yuffie who was peering at her boobs closely. It was minorly disturbing.

She cleared her throat, "Well, I didn't ask them to be this big. It was just natural."

Yuffie scoffed, "You're lying. If it was just natural, mine would be just as big as yours. You must have done something," she thought, while Tifa was actually gaping at her. A thought came to Yuffie, "You must have taken some magical potion that instantly gives you big boobs!" 

Tifa's eye started to twitch, "Umm... Yuffie, I'd rather not talk about this. How about another topic?"

As expected, she was ignored, "No...if that was the case, every girl would have big boobs...I got it!" she grinned at Tifa, "It must be some sort of exercise! That's why you're always working out, isn't it!?" Yuffie grinned widely like she had discovered the secret of life.

Tifa knew that Yuffie was random, but not this random, "Not really-"

Before Tifa could dispose some common sense to Yuffie, Yuffie barreled on her thoughts, "It must suck having big boobs. Being chased by pedophiles..." Yuffie asked Tifa seriously, "Have you ever worried about your bra just randomly bursting by the weight and size of your boobs?"

Even more confused and perplexed than before, all Tifa could do was watch Yuffie go on her...trail of randomness. 

"Imagine if that happened in front of Spikey!" Yuffie gushed, "I bet he'd die from the amount of blood loss!" This caused Tifa to turn red, Yuffie didn't seem to notice the effect of her words.

She pondered, "Of course, if someone were to design a bra that would warn before bursting, they'd save people like Spikey." her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, "It would probably have to start yelling 'NIPPLE PEEK!"

She clapped her hands in exitement, "I got it!" She had on an even wider grin that before, "I'll be your warning device! If I think that you're going to have a Nipple Peek, I'll warn you!" Ignoring Tifa's protest, Yuffie ran off, "I'll tell Marlene and Denzel about this!"

Later on that evening, when all of Avalance got together for dinner, it was to Tifa's shock and embarresment, when all of a sudden, holding the chicken, she heard someones yelling, "NIPPLE PEEK!" Causing Tifa to drop the chicken, Cid to choke on his cigar, and for everyone else to stare at Yuffie, who promptly ran out of the room. It was Reeve who broke the silence, "What, if I may ask, is Yuffie yelling about?"

Tifa rubbed her face in agitation, "Don't ask...please, don't ask."

---author's note---

I have no idea what possessed me to write this. I'm thinking about continuing this. What do you think? Hope I've relieved you of your boredom and saved an innocent soul. 


	2. Cloud

Final Fantasy VII

Ramblings of Boredom

We all know a bored Yuffie is a bad Yuffie, but sometimes there's nothing to stop her. Watch as our favorite characters suffer the wrath of a bored Yuffie.

Chapter 2-

After a long day of work, angsting, and just being Cloud, all he wanted to do was sleep (and imagine Tifa naked…or maybe not), and he would of to if it wasn't for that ninja and her little minions too!...Dear lord…he's got to stop watching cartoons with Marlene and Denzel. So when he got back, instead of that sleep and perverted dreams he was planning on having, he had to protect and defend his most beloved assets. No, not his chocobo exactly, if you know what I mean.

As he rolled in, the most dreadful sight popped out of nowhere. No, Tifa's boobs were perfectly safe.

"Hiya, Spike!" The source of all evil grinned widely.

He glared at her accusingly, what did she want this time? The last time she talked to him, he ended up sleeping on the couch for a week.

"…"

If Yuffie felt any hate waves from Cloud, and his chocobo, she ignored it, "Well," she started staring at the sky, "Today I was randomly thinking," waving at him in a nonchalant manner (of course he knew there was nothing nonchalant about anything she did), "and I was totally wondering…is your hair naturally like that?"

Cloud evenly looked at her, this was a normal question to ask after all. Normally he would just ignore her and leave, but she was in a 100 meter proximity of his Fenrir (which after learning last time after she went on a "road ride" that ended up with his Fenrir coming back in a 1000 and 2.5 pieces, never trusted her near a motorcycle ever again).

"…yes."

Yuffie leaned against the railing near the Fenrir, "Because I was wondering, didn't it hurt your mom when she popped you out?"

Now Cloud stared at her like you would a deranged criminal, which wasn't much off mark, "…huh?"

She leaned forward, in her teacher/student style, "You know, popped out of _down there_," she whispered the last part like it was forsaken, she instantly straighted, "It's called childbirth and you come out off her vi-"

Cloud interrupted her before she could continue, "I know how babies are made, what's your point!?"

Yuffie tilted her head in pondering, "Is there a point?"

Cloud gritted his teeth in agitation, "Normally when you talk to some one, you normally have a reason to." This is why he rarely ever talked to people…what exactly was in the water in Wutai!? Every person from Wutai he knew was freaky, Tseng, Vicent, Yuffie…ugh.

Yuffie grinned cheekily, "I'm not normal now, am I?"

'No you aren't' he thought, keeping his angsty façade on his face.

Yuffie kicked her feet in the air, "You know, I've always wondered something…"

Cloud mentally prepared himself, he was ready this time.

"Why do you always use such big swords?" She smirked, "Are you trying to make up for something?"

…yeah right…a super genius couldn't keep up with Yuffie. And how dare Yuffie make fun of his chocobo!

Before he could respond, he and Yuffie heard Tifa from inside, "Yuffie, can you come help me with something?"

Yuffie grinned, "See ya, Spike. This enlightening conversation was fun, wait until I tell Tifa!"

Cloud stared after the devil's incarnation skipping up the stairs to trip on the way in the door.

He rubbed a hand over his face irritated, he was definitely going to be sleeping on the couch tonight.

--author's note--

...randomness rocks.


	3. Cid

Final Fantasy VII

---

Ramblings of Boredom

--

When Yuffie's bored, there is not mute, delete or censor button.

------

Chapter 3- Cid

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" Cid glanced hesitantly at Yuffie guggling down beer like it was a life source. Yuffie finished her fifth beer and slammed her cup down on the table sighing. She wiped a hand across her mouth and grinned, "Of course not! The legal age is much younger in Wutai!" She paused and glanced at the empty bottles on the table, "Though right now, it wouldn't hurt to have some nice sake."

"I draw the line at beer," Tifa said from the counter, "The only reason why you're getting beer is because it's Cid's birthday."

"Well it's the first time, I'm glad someone's getting older!" She slammed a new glass with his, "Gambai!" and let down another large gulp, "Don't know why you're always getting drunk from this kid stuff. This is like juice compared Wutai alcohol."

Cid slammed his glass on the table, "Are you making fun of my drinking capabilties?"

"Of course it's not your fault," Yuffie continued on like Cid hadn't said anything, "When one naturally climbs up the years, their tolerance goes way down. My Pop can barely drink one bottle of sake anymore. He ends up most of the time passed out. Kind of like you," Yuffie realized, grinning at her discovery.

Barrett snorted into his drink and as discreet as a large burly man could, moved away to a safe distance.

Cid growled, a level three sign of anger.

"You also might want to watch how much you drink," Yuffie poked at his arm, "After a while it adds to the tubb." She paused, "Hey Shera, doesn't it look like he's been packing a little bit more than before?"

Shera wisely mumbled some vague answer in which Yuffie took her way, "See, even she agrees! That lance of yours isn't getting to heavy, is it?"

He tried to grab her by her shirt and missed.

"Ah, that's the age setting in. Slowed reflexes," tsking, she patted her shoulder, "That's why I'll never get old. Not just old, ancient dinosaur fossil old. God that would be painful. I'd rather die than get that old. Atleast Vincent still has his looks."

Vincent only looked up when his name was mentioned before returning to his emo moment with Cloud.

"Look here brat," Cid firmly stopped her speech, "You're young now, but one day. It hits you when you least expect it-"

"Like when it wouldn't go up?"

That sentence had everyone spitting out their drinks. Marlene and Denzel shrugged figuring it was some stupid adult thing.

Sputtering, Cid's face turned purple and he kept gasping, but no words would come out.

Yuffie slammed her cup down, "Another cup!"

-------

...fun.

NinjaPower


End file.
